Sheepish admission: I’ve been a loyal fan of The Bachelor since season 2. I’ve followed it through football players, wine makers, and princes. I’ve been amazed that the show still purports to be about ‘true love’ when more and more it’s about creating drama to hook the viewers. And, I’m hooked.
But my brain never stops being curious, even when watching the ‘boob tube’. Hehe.
Here are the lessons I’ve learned for the Bachelor.
1. Never show up drunk. I know this should be obvious. But it happens every season on The Bachelor. Somebody is always so drunk that they make a complete fool out of themselves and are asked to leave the first night. Men get naked and jump in the pool drunk, women drop their panties in the star’s pocket, and people fall asleep in back bedrooms and miss the choosing ceremony. It’s at that point that I’m yelling at the TV – “Stop it!!”
Now I don’t often see people consuming a lot of alcohol at networking events. But I do see people so drunk with their own excitement that they fail to notice that they are turning people off. They jabber on about their business or their event until people’s eyes glaze over. They throw flyers and business cards into people’s pockets without permission. They are so drunk on their own awesomeness that they forget about making a real connection. Stop it! Be more about the other person then you are about you. Ask about their business, take their cards and flyers, and compliment their tagline. You will be considered much more interesting and worth knowing when you are curious about them!
2. Gimmicks don’t make a connection; they just make you look stupid. In the beginning of every season the Bachelor or Bachelorette is introduced to 25 potential mates chosen just for them (read: just for the drama). As contestants exit a limo one by one it’s not uncommon to see stupid stunts –guys without shirts, women in wedding dresses, stupid jokes, come-ons and magic tricks abound. I feel so bad for those people and they never make it to the end.
Networking only works when you make a real connection. People want to know who you are first, before they will even think about buying from you. Rather that work out a snazzy line to open your conversations try just being genuine. Hold out your hand and introduce yourself. Take off your perfect mask and just be you.
3. Don’t announce that your eggs are ripe upon arrival. One woman announced upon arrival that her eggs were ripe and she was ready for the Bachelor to marry and impregnate her immediately. She was really indignant that this announcement to a man she had known for 10 minutes didn’t result in him immediately sending the other women away and carrying her off to his bedroom.
Showing up at a networking event desperate to sell your services or products (hopefully NOT your eggs – but who knows) is the kiss of death. People sense it. They will do almost anything to avoid it. Take a few minutes before an event to center yourself. Acknowledge your own value. Then walk into the room confident that you will meet the right people. That you don’t have to push anything on them. That you can take the time needed to build lasting, valuable relationships.
4. Get to know the other person. On the show contestants are so worried about being picked that they never stop to get to know the star. They babble on and on about their life and how they would fit together so well, but they never say “tell me about you.” They never find out if they really want the guy or girl in their life- they act like they just don’t want to be eliminated.
You have to be brutally honest with yourself. Are you so worried about your success that you are willing to take anyone who comes along? Because the truth is that won’t make you happy, and it won’t make your business successful. You have clients that are just waiting for you. It’s not everyone in the world, not even everyone you meet. But the perfect ones that will bring you joy and profits are out there. So take the time to get to know people before you invite them to work with you. It will save you a lot of time and heartbreak in the long run.
Now that you know the Bachelor Rules – learn step by step how to network successfully for the fastest profits in your business.