I had a great conversation with a new friend yesterday about the times when I’ve been unhappy in my business. I told her about the years when I first started coaching. I was so anxious to leave my job and coach full time that I almost couldn’t stand it. I didn’t see how I could financially make it work and yet I resented each day that I ‘wasted’ not doing the thing I loved.
The more I gave in to the energy of anxiety and stress, the harder it became to find clients. Which just pushed the dream further away.
I kept thinking: when I HAVE enough clients, I will get to DO coaching fulltime, then I will BE happy.
Until the day I decided to turn that statement around and just be happy.
I stopped worrying about making a ton of money with coaching. I stopped stressing about the time I spent at the job. I focused on just enjoying the work I did with clients.
And a funny thing happened.
My coaching income went up and within 6 months I was coaching full time!
I’ll bet there are times when you’ve fallen into the ‘when I have ____, then I’ll be able to do ________, then I will be _______’ trap. This kind of thinking stops the flow of energy. It actually shuts down the parts of your brain that create results. It sends you into survival mode.
Fight or flight kicks in. Decisions are made from fear.
I didn’t choose happiness because I brilliantly remembered to shift my flow of energy into a creative, love based space. I was just tired of feeling anxious.
But you don’t have to wait until you are so utterly exhausted by your own striving to make this decision. Use the be -> do -> have formula outlined below and save yourself the years of agony.
1. Notice what you are longing for. What is it you really want to have? Imagine what it would be like to have that. What will you do when you have it? How will you feel?
2. Once you’ve identified the feeling you want, name it.
3. Create a list of all the things that give you that feeling now.
4. Let go of striving for what you want. Focus on the things on your list, concentrating your attention on filling your body with that feeling.
5. Start with 1 minute of just being in the feeling, then extend it as you get better at holding onto the emotion.
6. Choose to focus on the Be part of the equation. Be-ing in the emotion will fuel your actions, what you have to Do, in order to achieve your goal, the Have.
Please share what emotion you are choosing to BE, and how that affects your Have below. (Sharing turns the dial up on your commitment to BE).