“Being visible is terrifying.” Jen wrote after our first experience in 2017. “Regardless of what’s going on inside, I’ve spent a great deal of energy trying to keep the outside looking mellow and in control. When I haven’t been able to keep up the facade, I use humor and self-deprecating behavior to deal with my perceived failures.…
I’ve come to understand that allowing your imperfect human side to be seen does not make you less deserving, or undesirable. It actually reveals your vulnerability to other human beings, which allows you to connect on a level that can lift you up to the point of feeling euphoric.…
There is no greater emotion than being seen, understood, and appreciated for who you really are. And the only way this emotion can be achieved is by being visible.”
My heart melts to read these words.
It is confirmation that this work has huge value.
And they let me know that we had to take the 2018 photo shoots up a notch. The women who had participated in 2017 would find a new wound, we would pull more gifts from them.
The day of the wounds photo-shoot, Jen let me know that her newly discovered wound was being found out as a fraud. This kept her small and agreeable in every situation.
“If you just do everything they ask, they won’t find out that you are inept.” The wound whispered.
When Lindsay heard this, her eyes lit up. “I have just the right thing for you” she said
This shoot, she explained, was not to be Jen as inept. It was Jen swinging to the other side, where she made ALL the rules.
Jen telling Lindsay what to do.
Jen telling the women and me how to support her.
Jen as Dominatrix.
This is actually the mask that many of her clients take on. They are so afraid to not be perfect, that they become demanding, never satisfied, beating themselves up with chains.
When Jen finally let go of trying to please us, we felt her take control, feel control in her body, feel what it is like to demand what you desire, feel power.
When Jen revealed her inner Dom, she released the fraud-wound. It suddenly became ok to be strong, without needing to be perfect.
This was so amazing, and so we were excited to see what Jen would bring to the second shoot.
And then, one day into the second retreat she mis-stepped and broke her foot.
On photo-shoot day she lay in the grass, inept, unable to even stand without support.
We felt her longing.
Longing to serve fully, to be in her power, to do those things, and only those things, that she is meant to do.
We saw her lay down the need to say yes to every request. Her need to prove her worth by doing for others. This too, is the mask her clients wear. Judging themselves for what they do, or don’t do.
When Jen understood this, she knew.
When doing everything for everyone became impossible, she discovered that BEing is all that is required.
That is the gift she brings her clients.
The sun broke through in her smile.
That was the moment of truth. The real Jen.
I say Yes, Yes, Yes. More of you, Jen. The world needs more.
With all my heart,
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