Can you remember the last time you were so angry that you just wanted to smash things?
When the bitterness and powerlessness rose up in your throat as a silent scream?
Instead, you played nice.
You swallowed your anger, tucking it into a dark corner of your soul where you could mull over it later, turning it inward with cruel words about your lack of worth and all of your failings.
For generations women have been conditioned to be nice, to be quiet, to look good. Our survival was dependent on our marriageability. And when we dared to raise our voices, to get angry, to demand that things be different, we were labeled as crazy bitches, too emotional, and somehow lacking in some fundamental feminine traits.
It’s in our DNA.
Passed from generation to generation, without our knowledge or consent.
And yet…. What if your anger was a super power?
What if allowing the fire that burns in the pit of your belly to erupt is the path to more joy in your life?
What if raging for all the things lost, all the injustice, all the disconnection is the way to open your channels of receiving abundance?
Last week, Lindsay A Miller and I led an extraordinary retreat where we dove into the depths of these buried emotions—the parts of ourselves that are often deemed too ugly, too unacceptable by the world.
We gave those emotions room to be, to be seen, to be allowed, to be loved.
Because there are no bad parts of ourselves, no bad emotions.
We didn’t just talk about our anger; WE F*#CKING SMASHED THINGS!
In a safe space, with caution, everyone got to express their anger on old phones, dishes and a broken microwave oven.
It was such freedom!
One woman wouldn’t stop! Another suggested we do this every year.
But most of all , we stood taller, more powerful, more full of life.
When anger is released and listened to, it can become a powerful ally.
Here are a just a few reasons why anger is good:
- Anger can act as powerful motivator for change
- Anger can help you establish and communicate your boundaries. It’s a way of saying, “This is not acceptable. and I won’t tolerate it. It can lead to healthier relationships and increase self-respect
- When you experience anger, it often highlights areas in your life that need attention or personal growth.
- Anger, when expressed directly, intentionally, and safely?, can relieve conflicts and improve relationships.
- Anger can highlight what matters to you most.
You don’t need to have a smash room to let your anger out, but I highly recommend you try it at least once.
With all my heart,